A couple of years ago I lost one of my best friends from school.

And not just school best friends. Her at my house the entire summer holiday best friends. First (and last, for over a decade) cigarette best friends. First time we got caught best friends. First time I had to call my mum to come get me because I thought I had vodka poisoning… that kind of best friend. The one you literally grow up with. 

Here’s the thing, I knew she was unwell and had handwritten her a letter because that was our gig back in high school.

You remember the ones: folded up into such a tiny package the paper literally wouldn’t fold anymore. Silly code names. Love hearts and initials. ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ boxes. Our other friend Jo always drew a penis on everything.

Ahhhh, Private All Girls’ School memories.

This letter was still sitting on my desk on the day she passed because I’d been “too busy” to send it.

I don’t know whether I thought she’d be OK. Maybe I couldn’t really face one of my own would be mortal. We were still in our 30s. Very late 30s, but still. Our proper lives had just really begun.

It doesn’t really matter.

Because I didn’t send it.

Now, I am shit-house at scheduled gifts. I struggle with the pressure of choosing and getting the dates right and I never, ever remember a card. I have great ideas and I mean to do things with the best of intentions but my follow-through leaves a lot to be desired.

Even still, I was so angry with myself that day I hadn’t pulled up my socks and made it happen.

It was the first year of my business and I was hammered. Overwhelmed. Poor. So, so poor from years of single parenting and struggling and paying bills and then marrying someone who left everything to his ex-wife – which is one of the reasons I loved him and also made me want to strangle him a bit. It was tough.

Still, I didn’t send it.

And I missed out.

 

 

I missed her.

alternative therapies for cfs

I let that letter sit there for over two years.

On my desk. I cleaned around it. I picked it up, read it, put it back. 

I did it to remind me my competing priorities the day she died were skew whiff.

Because people are more important.

She was more important than all my excuses. 

Life is long then also short and you can never guess which way it’ll be.

And since then, I haven’t gotten much better at dates. I still forget the card. Facebook friendships don’t help, I just have a panicked moment when I realise it’s someone’s birthday.

What I have gotten better at is giving gifts or sending a card at random, when I think about it, when I see something someone might love. I hope it takes them by surprise. I hope it means they feel loved. Beloved. Like she was to me. A beautiful thread throughout my young adult life. 

This afternoon, just now, I scrolled past my friend’s name on Facebook.

I haven’t removed her account for the past 5 years because she literally stops me in my scrolling tracks to remind me to slow down, take notice, shuffle my priorities.

She was a beautiful, troubled, whip-clever soul who I got into all kinds of innocent mischief with back in the day but who always loved with her whole heart and every organ around it.

Sorry I missed you, Nic, I’m trying really hard not to let that kind of thing happen again. 

I’m Jay Crisp Crow

and I started a life-revolution with a need to write things, $0 in the bank, a borrowed laptop, and a disability – all driven by a desire for the amplification of women’s voices

Now, I teach women all over the world to write what they mean, sell all their things, and know that balance is absolute and utter balderdash

Get Me In Your Ears

Don’t Tell Me What To Do – The Podcast

Free Jay

Socially Awkward

Loving the pants off…

for business

Drag and drop and endlessly customisable for websites that are as fabulous (or freaky) as your own personality. Check out the Divi builder

Quiz your way into the hearts and minds (and inboxes!) of your best people with Interact Quiz. Need inspo? Check mine out here

Go on holidays, take a nap, read a book. But don't take your flipping socials To Do list with you. Check out the Social Bee scheduler

For when you're still pretending you're a graphic designer inside, Canva will help you not show yourself up. Try Canva here

In 2020 I won a Nationwide award for the way I deliver courses. Psst: it's better. MemberVault is the platform I choose to deliver them. Check it out here

Sit at my table

Loving the pants off…

for life

Because we're going to go shopping anyways, we may as well get a kickback. Hundreds of online stores, bonus discounts, and a percentage back every time you shop. Go shopping

Read more like this…

Or choose the category you want to read

My labels include:

+ she/her

+  “Oi, Mum!” to three glorious humans including a rev-head, a world-changer CALD, LGBTQ+ (as she says, she belongs to most of the alphabet), and a ballroom dance loving small redhead

+ lover of a Viking

+ “High Priestess of copy” + “Australia’s conversion copywriting queen” (someone else said those things about me, so it’s OK to use it to label myself, even though I don’t really related to ‘building an empire’ – I’d much rather we all get to sit on a throne) at Crisp Copy

+ podcaster

+ speaker

+ fat-content + feisty + brave + tired + too much

+ don’t tell me what to do

 

Want to get me in front of your best people?

 

keynote speaker

funny af presenter

O P E N   B O O K

 

“…a standout speaker…”

“…I don’t just highly recommend Jay for her speaking, teaching, and presenting prowess, I strongly take you by the shoulders and shake you for not having signed her up already…”

 

Got another 5 minutes? Heck, the laundry can wait! Read on…

Women’s Business

Women’s Business

The How Dare She? Series In 2018, my (then) 15 year old daughter and I started How Dare She? a social enterprise dedicated to creating a platform where women were encouraged to do the things they've been told they shouldn't. We wanted to be part of something that...