Balance Is Overrated

Balance Is Overrated

by | Mar 25, 2018 | Business, Motherhood, Social Media, Speaking, Women, Work Life Blend

This blog was inspired by a presentation I was invited to give to the Motivating Mum’s community on International Women’s Day, 2017.

I wanted to talk to you about balance
…because I think it’s balderdash

And while maybe, yes, saying it’s a conspiracy to keep us down might be overdoing it a bit, I believe this concept of perfect wife, perfect mother, perfect businesswoman with all these balls in the air, perfectly applied lipstick, good hair, kicking goals and taking names – that concept that we have to have everything balanced – I think that’s hurting us.

I’m a business owner, and a mother, and a writer, and a creative, and a wife, and a lover and a tap dancer and an in-the-shower-singer and a volunteer and a social media addict and a homework supervisor and a decent friend and I manage – sometimes badly – a physical illness.

Am I balanced? Heck no!

Did I think I SHOULD be! Yes!

This is certainly a first world problem, but we’re consistently being bombarded with these messages that we have to be perfect.

Balance implies that.

Be over here, now in equal parts do this over here for this person, now in equal parts grow your business, now in equal shares be a terrific, conscious and hands-on parent, oh and don’t forget in equal amounts to be a smashing wife.

Bah. Balance is overrated.

And trying to BE balanced is so, so tiring

Some days I write for 8 hours straight.

I can’t wait to get the kids on the bus, and get out of the shower, and I sit down and don’t talk to anyone or interact with the world and I just write. It’s incredible to me that every day I get to write and someone pays me money. Who knew that could happen?

Some days I lay in a teepee on my plastic back lawn, because the real stuff kept dying and my husband is gorgeous but he hates gardening…

and I draw dinosaurs. For hours.

Some days I nap.

Some days I spend far too long hunting for the perfect tutor for my teenager because education the price of an organ isn’t now enough to get him through and he’s ready to give up on himself. Some days I should be writing and end up helping my friend put her photography website together. Some days I write but it’s not as good as it should be and I consider going back to a ‘real’ job in communications or even Coles.

Some days I drink enough water.
Some days I drink tea for lunch.

I’m not balanced.

And I don’t think we should be.

I think we should aim for something different: a blend

And the blend is as individual as you like your coffee. As individual as your children. You might be all or nothing most days. And that’s OK. Stop trying to be so god damned perfect.

I have a ‘successful’ (there’s another term that might need to be scrapped) copywriting business that’s elevated and amplified my career from underappreciated communications employee to Queen of the Crisp Copy Empire.

And it looks like that on social media.

My Instagram is filtered to the nines, I post regularly about the extremely fortunate situations I find myself in – I was a recipient of multiple awards last year, for example – but my business and personal life aren’t balanced.

Who on earth builds a self-sustaining and rapidly growing business while not working too hard? I work too hard. But I work hard now so it’ll pay off next year, or the year after. And although I work too hard, I also make sure that the reason I work so hard – my family – is a big dollop of goodness in my blend.

Because if I can’t shut down the laptop and go to make Easter hats for the parade, what’s the darn point?

My version of a successful blend is: a messy constantly shifting meld of creativity, smart work, and ability to be flexible. There’s nothing balanced about my life, and yet it’s the happiest I’ve ever been.

I work with words every day so I understand how important language is. Maybe the term ‘balanced’ means something different for you and you feel calm, in control, and peaceful about it. Goodo! But if it makes you feel pressured, ditch it.

Try the blend

It’s sometimes chaotic, it often requires a 360 spin, you might need to check your emails while on the loo and simultaneously explaining the difference between a dictatorship and a democracy having a Hot Wheels car rolled under the door and really you’re writing the first headline of a clients Sales page in your head, but you’ll stop expecting perfection of yourself.

And that’s where the real good stuff happens.

Room to move, to breathe, to create new things, to have different ideas, to change your mind!

Room to admit you don’t know everything, to ask for help, to collaborate, to create a sisterhood of women who are real and true and raw and honest.

International Women’s Day is meant to be a celebration of women. I say, let’s celebrate by cutting ourselves some darn slack. We have a position of privilege, especially here in Australia. If we spent a little less time trying to be perfect we might have a bit spare to help each other out.

Happy International Women’s Day, gorgeous women of the world. May your blend be delicious. Like Mocha.

Jay-crisp-crow-crisp-copy-signature
About Jay

Jay Crisp Crow

Yep, really my name

If you’re here for the intuitive mix of done-for-you, make-you-cry copy or you want to learn all my secrets so you can DIY like a pro; sister, you’re in the right place. I’m a copywriter, editor, and copy consultant and coach for businesswomen ready to move away from the boring as bat poop churning out of content. Words that sound the same as everyone else’s. Bah humbug! I am terrible at writing my own blogs but smashing at writing for clients. I live in the Hills of Perth, WA, and work with women around the world through the technologically spiffy powers of t’internet. Yay for that!
Socially Crisp
Resources I Love

What If I Could Be Both?

What If I Could Be Both?

by | Mar 12, 2018 | Speaking, Uncategorized, Women

This story was originally told as part of a live storytelling event entitled Stories From The Heart, by Lisa Evans. Click here to view the video.

What if Jay forgets her entire story?

No, that’s not happening.

So, I don’t know if you noticed as I walked up here, and maybe you didn’t. Maybe you thought, “I know that girl from the interwebs,” or “Look, there’s Jay. She washed her hair and she got out of her pyjama-like writing clothes,” or “That is the most fly jumpsuit I have ever seen,” and you would be right. Wish Pele was here.

Maybe you won’t notice until after. Maybe you go home and someone will say, “Who was the most awkward speaker at that live storytelling thing you went to?” and this is how you’ll classify me.

So, I don’t know if you’ve realised yet, but I’m kind of fat. So, awkward.

You’re not supposed to talk about it, right?

You’re not supposed to point it out. It’s not like I have two different colored eyes or I have an extra finger that I can go, “Look at my weird and quirky thing,” and you kind of go, “Wooh.”

No, and so why would I point it out to you?

I’ll tell you why.

Fat is one of the weaknesses that you can notice about somebody straight up, and I have been avoiding it my entire life, pretending that maybe I’m not. From the time that I have been 11, I have been avoiding being fat, trying not to be fat because fat is disgusting, and fat is lazy, and fat is not clever. Fat is not smart. Fat is not successful. Fat is not sexy or beautiful.

I have been an active enemy of fat my entire life, and I have been trying to be all of those things perfectly polished, very, very prepared in the case that maybe you will realise or not notice that I am.

This one word has had so much of impact over my entire life that even when I hear other people talking about it, I have a physical reaction if they talk about their dress size, if they talk about how much they ate today. It doesn’t really matter.

It affects me physically.

So, my what if story is not about “what if I wasn’t fat?”

My “what if” story is a little bit different, because I have a double-door fridge and both of those doors have mirrors on it. It’s crazy, and it’s where everybody in my house once they get ready, goes and kinds of checks themselves out and make sure that they’re all right. So, the amount of times that I had stood in front of that fridge and bemoaned the fat, that I am so fat.

If I just had a dollar for every time I did it, that fridge would pay me back for itself.

So, my “what if” story on my “what if” day, goes that I’m standing in front of the fridge in my 14th outfit and I’m saying, “Oh my God, I’m so fat.” My husband, God bless him, comes up behind me and he plants one of those kisses on my neck. You know, the ones that make you realise why I married him in the first place and he says this, “You’re not fat. You’re beautiful,” which is the exact wrong thing to say because, “Dude, I have eyes, and if you are lying about the me not being fat thing, then you’re probably also lying about all the other nice things you said about me.”

So, I’m wailing. I’m wailing in front of the fridge, and my son walks past and he’s right in-between that age of childhood and man, and he’s all angles, and abs, and swagger. He’s kind of like swaggering past the kitchen, and he says to me, “For God’s sake, mum,” because we take the Lord’s name in vain a lot in our house.

“For God’s sake, mum, why can’t you be both?”

As the much-maligned God is my witness, I had never even considered it.

I had never considered that I could be both.

What if I was both fat and beautiful? What if I was both fat and sexy, fat and smart, fat and successful, fat and fly, fat and fierce? This one word that has had such a hold over me my entire life, ceased to be anything more than a describing word. So, that is my what if story. It’s not what if I wasn’t fat because that’s like asking what if the sky is not blue, or what if I don’t have children? What if I’m married to Jason Momoa? That’s not my what if story, and this is not a story of body positivity. It’s not a story that glorifies obesity like some charmer on the internet said last week. This is not even fat activism, although maybe it is because maybe thinking that you can be both fat and beautiful is radical.

This is just my what if story.

What if I’m both fat and beautiful?

What if I’m both?

Jay-crisp-crow-crisp-copy-signature
About Jay

Jay Crisp Crow

Yep, really my name

If you’re here for the intuitive mix of done-for-you, make-you-cry copy or you want to learn all my secrets so you can DIY like a pro; sister, you’re in the right place. I’m a copywriter, editor, and copy consultant and coach for businesswomen ready to move away from the boring as bat poop churning out of content. Words that sound the same as everyone else’s. Bah humbug! I am terrible at writing my own blogs but smashing at writing for clients. I live in the Hills of Perth, WA, and work with women around the world through the technologically spiffy powers of t’internet. Yay for that!
Socially Crisp
Resources I Love

5 Tips on Public Speaking for Scaredy Cats

5 Tips on Public Speaking for Scaredy Cats

by | Jul 30, 2016 | Business, Marketing, Speaking, Work Life Blend

When I originally launched Crisp Copy, I couldn’t imagine public speaking would become part of my business journey.

The idea of speaking publicly, either in front of real, live humans or on the air, made my heart palpitate and mind race.

And here’s the odd thing: with a background and training from one of Australia’s premier Drama and Music institutions and  a life time spent on stage (I started dancing at 2 and my first job was of professional cheerleader) I should have been completely confident.

However, to put yourself in the vulnerable position of public speaking is simply a different, more nerve wracking experience than communicating through words, or indeed, as it seems, song.

When I was asked to speak at my first event, I thought perhaps it would be a one off. It was a trial by fire – a full day of MCing to a hall full of clever people, complete with making up jokes and telling anecdotes about my kids and my job when the day’s schedule was held up.

Shortly after, I realised I had enough clients wanting to work with me one on one with digital communications training to put them all in a room together, do it all in one shot, and save them each a couple of hundred dollars.

From there, workshops were booked out, I received more invitations to speak, and I soon had to get used to the idea that this is how my clients wanted to meet me – in person. Teaching them something.

I’ve learned some tips on public speaking from not only stumbling through my own presentations but also from some highly effective public speakers I’ve met on the circuit.

I hope my tips will help you relax and prepare for the next time you tackle this formidable task.

5 Top Tips to Public Speaking Success (for introverted, scared little copywriters and other chickens).

  1. Feel honoured.

Someone thinks you have something to say, and they are giving you the opportunity to make your voice heard.

When you add the feeling of sincere gratitude into the mix, the sheer anxiety dissipates a bit. If others have faith in your ability, you should give it a shot.

  1. Be flexible.

Don’t over structure everything you’re planning to say.

A structured speech can help you stay organised, but might feel unnatural for your audience if it is too rigid. With some flexibility, you can modify your speech as you go along.

Understand the content of your speech, and keep some things to say in mind, but don’t worry so much about where and when you will say them… they will flow out when the right moment presents itself.

Having some flexibility also takes into consideration that not all audiences are created equal. Be prepared to morph your presentation or speech in line with your audience response.

  1. Get jazz hands.

Use your hands! It makes your audience feel more at ease, and you seem more personable. We’re human, after all, and we already communicate so much with body language.

So shake out those nerves and keep yourself moving. And more importantly, remember to take a deep breath before you begin.

There are some absolutely rivetingly fascinating TED talks about body language. Watch them and practice as you go.

  1. Be enamoured.

Talk about something you love.

When you talk about something you’re crazy about, you’ve already prepared most of your speech.

In my podcasts and workshops, where I talk about Crisp Crow Communications and all that entails successful copywriting, I’m really talking about my love for writing. Passion and purpose are the perfect sources to begin a discussion. Plus, an audience wants to know who is speaking to them, and what better way to get to know a person by hearing them talk about something they love?

  1. Give value.

Impart some wisdom to the audience that they can use to implement change that very day.

You want your audience to go home having learned something they can practice in their personal or business lives right away.

While these are just a few tips on public speaking, it’s important to challenge the fear of putting yourself out there because that ultimately paves the way for something extraordinary.

When people come up to tell me how I helped change their lives, or when they send emails about how touched they were by something I said, it makes all that fear and gruelling anticipation worth it.

When I make connections after speaking, it reminds me how tangible my lesson is. Different people learn in different ways, so if we scrap the idea of giving a speech or presentation forever, we’re missing out on all that interaction with people who don’t learn by reading.
We’re all human, and we all have fears, but public speaking doesn’t have to be one of them.jaycrispcrowsignature2

Being asked to participate in these podcasts and workshops was all a real threat to my comfort zone, but as I always say: no one gets into small business to feel comfy.

Have questions? Want to know if I drank before hand? Shoot me a message below.

 

Jay-crisp-crow-crisp-copy-signature
About Jay

Jay Crisp Crow

Yep, really my name

If you’re here for the intuitive mix of done-for-you, make-you-cry copy or you want to learn all my secrets so you can DIY like a pro; sister, you’re in the right place. I’m a copywriter, editor, and copy consultant and coach for businesswomen ready to move away from the boring as bat poop churning out of content. Words that sound the same as everyone else’s. Bah humbug! I am terrible at writing my own blogs but smashing at writing for clients. I live in the Hills of Perth, WA, and work with women around the world through the technologically spiffy powers of t’internet. Yay for that!
Socially Crisp
Resources I Love

How to Pick the Ideal 1st Speaking Clients (Actually, it was Just Luck!)

How to Pick the Ideal 1st Speaking Clients (Actually, it was Just Luck!)

by | Jun 16, 2015 | Speaking

When I was first contacted about presenting at a local organisation’s annual luncheon my first thought was “But! I’m not ready!”

Ironically, I was considering attending a speaking intensive that was set to begin that day. Although I’d sung in front of 8 thousand people and spoke to groups of 20 people or more on a regular basis in my job… well, let’s face it, this was different. Being accountable for the flow of an entire afternoon for a celebratory event is a pretty big responsibility. Was I going to be out of my depth?

After reading through the RISE Network website, I changed my mind.

Because, although no one there knew me, I admired them all. I was 100% in.

The RISE Network services provide for youth, aged care, people with a disability, mental health and carers in the Shires of Kalamunda, Swan and Mundaring and beyond. RISE has humble beginnings since its inception in 1983 after a meeting of the Swan community to discuss the needs for support services. The organisation has transformed from the original HCSG (Hills Community Support Group) to an organisation employing 360 staff, 120 volunteers, 225 support members in the community and, most importantly, 2000 clients who receive their invaluable services. Now, they focus on building communities – “of our elderly, people with a disability, those with mental health issues, youth at risk, and care givers. We are becoming much more user friendly, helping you work out how we can support you in what you want to achieve.  The focus is no longer on what programs we run, but rather on what you want to do.” – RISE Network website.

The statistics are heartening and you can read much more on their website.

However, what’s most exceptional about this organisation is their people.

(Here’s a #teamcrispycrow tip; if you are ever nervous about tackling something new for the first time, do it in front of people who work in human services. When I found myself a bit nervy speaking about my own journey a quick glance at the audience was enough to settle the tension. There’s nothing like a room full of 100 people all with encouraging half-smiles on their faces. They’re the kind of people you’d want on your side in a challenge. And they’re fun.)

RISE’s Social Club organised the event including a delicious lunch, chocolate mousse to die for and a lively quiz. With the majestic Midland Town Hall as the backdrop and the setting perfectly purple, the scene was set for a day of merriment. Although there was competition, prizes and chasing a staff member around to win champagne, I was touched that every staff member I chatted to not only spoke about their families but also the people they worked with. It seems that if you are a staff member of RISE, your clients are always close to your heart.

Knowledgeable, experienced and beyond clever with her multi proficiencies, Social Club member Jennifer mentioned that even though RISE has been part our community for over 30 years providing care, support, employment and leadership, some Hills and Midland public still don’t realise they exist. RISE actively encourages the community to read through their website and gauge whether they offer a service that may be able to support someone in your family. They also connect to the community via Facebook here.

I hope the staff in attendance really enjoyed their day (including Table 13 who COMPLETELY believed they had that quiz in the BAG before Table 11 pipped them at the post with the bonus round questions!)

I’m a very big fan.

 

 

 

Read why here

Jay-crisp-crow-crisp-copy-signature
About Jay

Jay Crisp Crow

Yep, really my name

If you’re here for the intuitive mix of done-for-you, make-you-cry copy or you want to learn all my secrets so you can DIY like a pro; sister, you’re in the right place. I’m a copywriter, editor, and copy consultant and coach for businesswomen ready to move away from the boring as bat poop churning out of content. Words that sound the same as everyone else’s. Bah humbug! I am terrible at writing my own blogs but smashing at writing for clients. I live in the Hills of Perth, WA, and work with women around the world through the technologically spiffy powers of t’internet. Yay for that!
Socially Crisp
Resources I Love