The How Dare She? Series

In 2018, my (then) 15 year old daughter and I started How Dare She? a social enterprise dedicated to creating a platform where women were encouraged to do the things they’ve been told they shouldn’t. We wanted to be part of something that builds women up, not tears them down, and we wanted to amplify the voices of women you don’t always hear from. We did just that – delivering a platform, a process, and a (full mentoring, editing, and publishing) support crew for women who would have never otherwise told their story. This is one of those stories.

by Kendall​

Post-natal depression was a piano falling from the sky; exactly one week after my son was born. There was no chilly insidious tide for me; one moment I was your regular brand of nervous new mother, and the next, I was stunned, senseless and speechless.

In the months and weeks that followed, I sought help and found it in so many ways – and over time I noticed that the fabric of my healing was woven from the warmth and truth of women.

This is a story about how the simple, powerful, pagan magic of women pulled me out of my darkness.

After the piano fell on my head, I remember a phone call of broken sentences and silences that galvanised my sister into action. I knew she could hear the wrongness in me, and I knew she’d call my mother. I didn’t have to ask, and not needing to speak my hollow fears was a gift only my sister could give. My mother arrived without a clue or a toothbrush, and stayed for ten days.

My mother.

The woman who hasn’t cleaned her own house in my whole lifetime, worked tirelessly around my home. Endless loads of washing, cleaning, cooking and tidying. She spoon fed me Weetbix in the wee hours while I fed the baby. She cut flowers from the garden and asked my stepkids about their day. She shouldered all my responsibilities, so I only needed to tend my tiny son. Most new grandmothers would have gleefully taken charge of the baby, and rendered me doubly useless. But not my mother. Her intuition and perception is still breathtakingly beautiful to me, and I will always be grateful.

I saw a clinical psychologist twice-weekly in those early dark days and I always have trouble explaining why she was so central to my uphill trudge towards healing. She was a short, broad, grandmotherly woman; sturdy, warm and rounded as baked bread … and I can’t repeat a single life-changing sentence she spoke to me.

Because (frustratingly) she had no quick fixes for me.

​She simply taught me the basic housekeeping of my poor old mind and body. She helped me drag all my worries into the light, and showed me how to sort them out and which ones to chuck in the bin. Some worries I got to keep, but she showed me how to keep those under my boot. She taught me how to dose myself with the good, simple acts that heal – like snipping and watering things in the garden. Walking down my street.

Woman-friends gathered and I heard stories of births and tragedies and struggles. My dear friends brought their friends, women I barely knew, to tell me their stories. After each conversation, that phrase – “there is nothing new under the sun” – would pop to the surface of my thoughts, and I would turn it over and over. We strive so hard to be individuals, but when you’re in the deep ocean in the dark, hearing women you actually know – women with jobs and hair-dos and dogs and lives – have swum that same ocean and eventually found sand under their feet? Well. It just helps.

The exception that proves this rule of women was my husband.

He held my hand and my heart lightly. He loved me quietly and constantly, and let the alchemy of women work around us. He walked with me, listened to me, talked with me, snipped and watered with me, and held our baby with me. If women made the fabric of my healing, my unshakable husband was the golden thread running through it – precious, pliable and lasting.

We are now four years further on, and I have vast compassion for that poor girl with the brand new baby. One day, I hope to be part of a tribe of women resurrecting some poor soul trapped under a percussion instrument.

I’ve been writing this essay for her, for four years.

I’m Jay Crisp Crow

and I started a life-revolution with a need to write things, $0 in the bank, a borrowed laptop, and a disability – all driven by a desire for the amplification of women’s voices

Now, I teach women all over the world to write what they mean, sell all their things, and know that balance is absolute and utter balderdash

Get Me In Your Ears

Don’t Tell Me What To Do – The Podcast

Free Jay

Socially Awkward

Loving the pants off…

for business

Quiz your way into the hearts and minds (and inboxes!) of your best people with Interact Quiz. Need inspo? Check mine out here

Go on holidays, take a nap, read a book. But don't take your flipping socials To Do list with you. Check out the Social Bee scheduler

In 2020 I won a Nationwide award for the way I deliver courses. Psst: it's better. MemberVault is the platform I choose to deliver them. Check it out here

Sit at my table

Loving the pants off…

for life

Because we're going to go shopping anyways, we may as well get a kickback. Hundreds of online stores, bonus discounts, and a percentage back every time you shop. Go shopping

Read more like this…

Or choose the category you want to read

My labels include:

+ she/her

+  “Oi, Mum!” to three glorious humans including a rev-head, a world-changer CALD, LGBTQ+ (as she says, she belongs to most of the alphabet), and a ballroom dance loving small redhead

+ lover of a Viking

+ “High Priestess of copy” + “Australia’s conversion copywriting queen” (someone else said those things about me, so it’s OK to use it to label myself, even though I don’t really related to ‘building an empire’ – I’d much rather we all get to sit on a throne) at Crisp Copy

+ podcaster

+ speaker

+ fat-content + feisty + brave + tired + too much

+ don’t tell me what to do

 

Want to get me in front of your best people? 

 

keynote speaker

funny af presenter

O P E N   B O O K

 

“…a standout speaker…”

“…I don’t just highly recommend Jay for her speaking, teaching, and presenting prowess, I strongly take you by the shoulders and shake you for not having signed her up already…”

 

Got another 5 minutes? Heck, the laundry can wait! Read on…